How to Be Happier Every Day and In Five Seconds Flat

Flip From Unhappy to Happy: How to Be Happier

How to be Happier

It is so easy to get stuck in the cycle of thinking that one day your life will be better, but just not right now. Or, even worse, that you are doomed to live an unfulfilling life, day in and day out, until one day, you die.

Ugh, that was depressing just to read. I can’t imagine living that way. Well, yes I can, because I did. I lived with that exact mindset for most of my entire adult life. I get it. But what so few realize is that it is so much easier to make the small flips in life that make us happier than to remain stuck and unhappy. 

And, if you are still stuck feeling this way, you, my friend, are not alone. Most people don’t realize that it’s in their grasp to learn how to be happier. As little experiment, I kept my curious little ears open all last week to hear how people talk about themselves and their lives. (Eavesdropping is one of my super powers, in case you were wondering.) 

Here are a few things I heard:

  • When I win the lottery, I’m going to retire, and move some place better than this. This place is depressing. (I wanted to say, “Yo, you live in Miami. People dream of retiring here. And you are…already here!) 

  • I’m not buying any clothes until I lose five pounds. (Ok, you know who you are, so I’m just going to say right here what I said to your face…Ummm, didn’t you say that like six months ago? And six months before that? And, I think you see where I’m going with this, right? Good! So buy the damn pants and enjoy the heck out of them!)

  • My life is so boring! (I didn’t know this person, but we were sitting at the same happy hour spot, and it was such a great happy hour spot. Who are these people being bored at a happy hour with free tacos? Yes, free tacos.)

How to Be Happier

How to Be Happier

If you are brave enough to admit to yourself that you can relate to these Debbie Downers (don’t worry, no one has to know), here are 4 quick and easy flips that’s teach you how to be happier in seconds: 

1. Focus on the Good Over the Bad

No matter how spectacularly blah-tastic your life seems right now, there are some shiny little objects you can hold on to. Do you have a warm place to sleep at night? Is your favorite TV show on the DVR, just waiting for you and a tub of ice cream? Did you just send out a meme to everyone you know and now the lols are rolling in? Is there a taco with your name on it out there in the universe (bonus points if it’s free!)?

Can you, your heart, and your brain land on at least 5 good things? Are there 5 things in your life that give you at least a glimmer of joy, hope, or just make you say, “Umm, yes, please!” Good. You are so lucky. You have so much to be happy about.

Related: Self Care Ideas for Women Who are Too Busy for Self Care

2. Look back with gratitude instead of regret

4 Easy Flips Can Teach You How to Be Happier in No Time

4 Easy Flips Can Teach You How to Be Happier in No Time

Every single thing that has happened to you in your life, every fall, every misstep, every lost lover, every forgotten opportunity, and even every mistake you’ve ever made has made you the you you are right now (there’s a heck-ton of “you”s in that sentence, but hey, this is self-help, and self-help is the one time where it really is ALL ABOUT YOU!) 

Even if you don’t think you are living your best life, or that you aren’t the ideal person you want to be, you know yourself better than anyone else in the world, and you know that you have a plethora of redeeming qualities. And, you’ve earned them. Yes, it would’ve been great if you got the promotion over Sally-know-it-all-down-the-hall, but you learned from that experience. It made you smarter. It made you a bit tougher. Maybe, hopefully, it made you evaluate what you want and what you can do to get it. 

Look back on all your past with gratitude—even the dark and ugly times. The bad times are the ones that give you grit. They are the experiences that build wisdom. You deserve a lot of respect for living through them and surviving, and no one owes you more respect for that than you do. Go you.

3. Flip Your Mindset from Negative to Positive

It sounds so simple because it is. It sounds too simple, in fact—too good to be true. But the truth is, it’s that simple, and it’s that hard. 

It’s simple because deciding to be positive really and truly makes you a happier person. When you decide to look for the positives in any situation, to appreciate the growth and knowledge gained from a less-than-stellar experience, it immediately makes you happier. This is what I call a flip. A flip is a small, quick mindset change that can improve your life.

Flip from dwelling on negativity, and looking for all the chances to be negative, and instead, look for those shiny objects you can grab and hold on to. It’s that simple. But it takes practice—that’s the hard part. 

Start practicing this flip with small things, and soon it will become part of your mindset tool collection. For example, let’s say that after work one day, you go to the grocery, intent on making your Grandma’s famous spinach lasagna. So far, so good. But, once you get there, you discover that they are out of her super-secret ingredient. As soon as your start hearing your brain say things like, “Of course, they don’t have what I need. Isn’t that typical. First I had a crap day at work, and all I wanted was some damn spinach lasagna, and now I can’t even have that. The world is against me. I have the worst luck.”

Flip that switch, girl, pronto. As soon as that voice starts babbling on, cut it off, and tell yourself that you just weren’t meant to make dinner today. And now you have time to finish reading the book you haven’t had time to read, and finally order from that cute new Italian place on the corner. Alone time + book + hot food delivered to your door = perfection. Damn, you’ve got it good.

Related: Why You Should Focus on Mindset if You Want to Be Happy

4. Remember You are in Good Company

I know you think that you are the only one who feels this way. You’re completely convinced that your next door neighbor, your friends on Facebook, and that promotion stealer, Sally-know–it-all-down-the-hall all have their sh*t together, and only you feel this way. But I promise you, that this is not true.

Evidence number 1—remember my little week of eavesdropping on Debbie Downers?

Evidence number 2—Let me tell you, I spend a good chunk of my everyday life, hanging out with other life coaches, and even they have their moments. We all do. And thinking that you are the only one who suffers with this, is just another belief that holds you back from being happier every day. 

So, those are 4 easy mindset flips that you can start practicing right now because you now know how to be happier. The hardest part is just remembering to implement them, and believing that you have the power to use these flips, and make them work for you. Say them aloud. Write them down. Set a reminder in your phone. Commit to them in comments, right here, right now. Do whatever it takes to remember, implement, and benefit. I believe in you. Don’t flip out. Flip your life. 

5 Fast Self Care Ideas for Women Who Think They’re Too Busy

Flip From Frazzled to Nurtured in No Time: Self Care Ideas

Self Care Ideas

Technically, we all know how important self care is for women, especially women over 40, who are constantly juggling more than they can handle. But, for busy women, self-care can feel like a luxury that we never have time for.

We’ve been fooled into thinking about spending time, energy, and money on self care as indulgent or selfish. I am here to tell you, right here, right now, flip those self-limiting thoughts and start telling yourself that self care is a vital habit to work into your daily schedule.

A major factor holding women back from practicing self care is they think they need to do something extravagant in order for it to count, or to work, or whatever. Repeat after me, this is not true. Self care doesn’t have to consist of extravagant, long weekends spent at the beach, a trip to the spa, or even taking those crazy expensive Soul Cycle classes. But, hey, if you can swing those things, have at it!

The truth is, self care can be anything (small or big) you do to give you and your body and or mind attention. I want you to take 10 minutes a day, every day this week, to spend on yourself. In fact, I insist.

Here are 5 self-care ideas that will take only 10 minutes out of your crazy schedule, but will still benefit your mind and body. Flip to it, girl.

Self Care Idea :. S-T-R-E-T-C-H it Out

Do you know that we tend to carry stress in our spines? This is especially true for those of us who spend long hours hunched over the computer, working on our feet, or picking up after the kids. Like many things in our busy lives, our posture and body take the backseat.

I know that when you get home, after you’ve made dinner, and ran all your errands, all you want to do is flop on the couch and flip through Instagram, or curl up with a good book. But, flip that habit. Just before you get ready for chill-out time, take just ten minutes to curl your spine down, and touch your toes. 

Self Care for Women Over 40: Stretching

If you can touch your toes, great, set a goal to be able to touch your palms to the ground by the end of next month. If you can’t touch your toes (don’t worry, no one needs to know!) no worries, most women over 40 haven’t been able to touch their toes in a long, long time. But you’ve got this! I believe in you.

Set a goal to be able to touch your toes in 3 months. Remember, any amount of stretching will do your aching joints and body some long-lasting good. Put that goal in your journal or on your reminders app in your phone.

While you’re at it, stretch the rest of your body as well. Perhaps you can look up a yoga posture, or you have a stretching routine in mind already. Whether it is advanced or basic, any kind of stretching will keep your body functioning well despite periods of inactivity. Touch your toes, extend your arms and gear yourself up physically and mentally for whatever task is at hand.

Self Care Idea 2: Massage and Moisturize

I know you are crazy busy. I am, too. And I know that I tend to want to jump out of the shower in the morning, dry myself off as quickly as I can, and rush to get dressed. But, I’ve trained myself to spend an extra 10 minutes, indulging in my favorite potions and lotions. It’s great for relaxing before a sure-to-be hectic day, and it will keep you looking younger, longer. Total win-win. 

First, do your facial skin-care routine. I used to just moisturize and go—I never invested in lots of serums, toners, and masks. But, that has all changed now, my friends. I am a subscription box junkie, and now my beauty kit is overflowing with fabulous concoctions. And, I don’t even notice the small amount of money I spend on them—the value far outweighs the costs! And let me tell you, I see a huge difference in the my skin. Huge! 

Next, it’s time to pamper the rest of your body. If you don’t have any special body lotions around, use a natural lotion such as organic coconut oil or avocado oil, and rub it mindfully into your arms and shoulders, and legs. Spread the cream or oil gently and thoroughly and use your hands to massage over your body across areas that you might not realize are aching. You might come across some sudden sore spots, it’s important to focus on those for a moment, rubbing in the lotion. You will be relaxed and energized and your skin will benefit greatly from the extra moisturizing.

Related: Creative Self Care Ideas for Women

3. Drink 2 Additional Glasses of Water Per Day

Water is that little magic potion we all too often ignore: it relieves fatigue, clears skin, detoxes your body, improves digestion, and prevents cramps. And yet we often forget to hydrate, or hydrate so little we get headaches as a result. Not only will drinking two glasses of water help you hydrate, it will also give you much-needed time to get away from your technological devices and focus on your surroundings.

Self Care Drink More Water

Drink the water slowly and savor the break from you work before you dive back into it. Take it in slow sips, and be sure to follow this tip regularly to met your daily requirement of H2O. 

Not a big water fan? I used to hate water. I know that sounds weird, but I did. But for people who don’t like water, you are just not used to drinking it. You have to condition yourself by drinking water several times a day, every day.

And, I was terrible at remembering to drink it. I invested in a 25 ounce Swell bottle, that I now remember to take with me every day. I got the big one, and I fill it up every morning, and I don’t allow myself to go to bed until I’ve consumed every last drop. It helps to add in a little squeeze of fresh lemon or lime to add a touch of flavor. Sometimes, I add in fresh mint leaves, too. It’s so refreshing. 

Related: Why You Should Be Drinking Lemon Water Every Morning

4. Play with your pet or go for a walk

self care ideas 4

Whether it’s a furry friend or a tank full of fish, scientists have proven the health benefits of animals at every turn. A pet of your own means a faithful companion. And, spending time with a pet is a proven way to lower blood pressure and increase oxytocin levels.

The enjoyment from pets can be calming and repetitive motion of petting your companion (or even staring at a fish tank!) will help soothe you. Don’t have a pet? Go for a walk to your local dog park; just taking in the sights of other dogs and animals has the same impact on your wellbeing. 

5. Phone a Friend, you Chatty Cathy, You

At a time where connectivity options are abundant, it’s funny how disconnected we actually are. The troubles of everyday life can be exhausting and drain us of all the time and will to socialize beyond what is absolutely necessary. During our free time there are personal things we need to tend to that make socializing take a back seat. But to truly care for ourselves, we need to nurture social and emotional aspects as well.

While it’s easy to pick up your phone and send a text, take ten minutes out of your day to chat with a friend or family member. You benefit just as much as they do. Simply talk about your day and maintain the feeling of being connected. Your support system can help relieve stress and help you to maintain a healthy mindset through your shared bond.

Self care isn’t just about facials, eating your greens and getting your hair done. It’s also about the soul food that fuels you and the small things that make big impacts on your overall wellbeing. By practicing these 5 tips, you get to spend a handful of minutes away from whatever it is you do each day and you get to separate yourself from the chaos and stress of your daily life.

Do you practice some sort of self care? Share with us below, and give us some fresh ideas. Or, head on over to Instagram and tag your self care pics or stories with #40yearflip.

This post may be sponsored or contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. See my full disclosure here.

Why You Should Have a Positive Mindset if You Want to Be Happier

How can having a positive mindset help flip your life?

Positive Mindset

Too often we are focused on our external circumstances when we think about being happier. We will be happier when we get the kitchen renovated, get that promotion at work, or finally lose the extra fifteen pounds from that last pregnancy nine years ago. But, the truth is, none of those things have the power to make people happy. Instead, we just need to flip our thinking—aka our mindset! Only by having a positive mindset can you feel happier.


Your mindset has profound effects on everything: self-esteem, health, relationships, and careers. Your mindset is even more powerful than your circumstances in setting the course of your life, and in terms of how happy and content you feel.  Unlike random circumstances, mindset is something you can learn to control and change. With some specific activities and intentions, you can radically flip your reactions to common experiences in your life—all by flipping to a positive mindset.


But, as with any change, it’s tough. Every day we have to scroll though endless bad news in our social media feeds, or yet another natural disaster somewhere in the world. But what affects us even more is that nagging voice in our heads that are constantly whining, “I’m so tired,” “I’m fat,” “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

 Related: How to Be Happier Every Day

Positive Mindset 2

And when you feel crappy, you radiate crappy, and you attract crappy. I’m sure you’ve heard of the Law of Attraction, that law that says your negative mindset will just keep attracting more negativity in your life. Well, it’s true. And once you focus on your mindset, you’ll see just how powerful the Law of Attraction is. So, stop using it against you, and start using a positive mindset as your tool to flip your life.


Sadly, we often miss seeing the wonderful things in our life.  You know the old saying, “Stop and smell the roses.” Well, do you? I mean seriously, do you? How often do you take a walk and truly appreciate nature? Watching the sunrise or the sunset is an awe-inspiring thing. It’s 100% free, and it happens Every. Single. Day. And yet, we miss it.

Why is it so damn hard to get into a positive mindset?

Journaling is a great way to focus on mindset

Journaling is a great way to focus on mindset

Because thought patterns are learned, and once they are ingrained in your mind, your mind tries to keep you in that space. The more you allow yourself to repeat negative thoughts, the more ingrained these thoughts become in your mind, and the harder it is to flip those thoughts and your mindset. If you want to flip your life, you must focus on cultivating a positive mindset, so that you can be happier and more content. And they way to do that is to train your brain. If you want a fit body, you need to train. If you want a fit mind, you need to train, as well.

 Related: How to Be Lucky Even if You Think You are Unlucky

But how? Well, I’m glad you asked. I’ve created a super-simple, 5-Day 40yearflip Mindset Challenge to get you flipping that mindset from negative to positive. It’s easy and painless, and totally FREE. And, it’s designed to make it easy for you to start focusing on mindset and actively working to flip that mindset from negative to positive.

If you want to create great things in your life, then you have to start by expecting yourself to achieve great things. Ready?  Let’s do this! Click on the link below to join, and an email from me will zoom straight to your inbox.