5 Brain Exercises to Detox Your Mind So You Can Feel Balanced

Detox Your Brain

We are more in control of our own emotions, thought patterns, and mood than we give ourselves credit for. Most of us believe that our brains just work on their own wave lengths, and we are just along for the ride. Well, my 40yearflip friends, this is simply not true. Or more accurately, it doesn’t have to be true. We all accept the fact that if we want a healthy body, we need to exercise our bodies in order for them to be strong, and vibrant. So why don’t we accept the same for our minds?

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It’s 100% true. If you want your mind to be healthy, happy, and balanced, you need to work on your thought patterns, and be in tune with your own moods. And, yes, this takes practice. But think of it as taking your brain to the gym. 



Brain Exercise #1:  Flip Negative Thoughts Right the Hell On Out ASAP

 

Once you get in the habit of remembering to implement this exercise, it becomes your most powerful tool to being happier. But, remembering to do it is the hard part. All you have to do, whenever you find yourself thinking a negative thought, particularly one that is critical of yourself, like, “I’m no good at this,” “I look fat today,” “I feel old,” is to flip that thought right the hell on out, like pronto.

 

You don’t have to negate it with self-affirming mantras, or even by telling yourself that the opposite is true; you just have to acknowledge that you are being unproductively negative, and flip that thought out of your brain. When I catch my kids expressing negative thoughts about themselves aloud, I clap my hands and say, “Flip that thought!” It’s become embedded in the little folds of my brain at this point, so whenever I catch myself being negative, I think those words, and I do a quick hand clap. I even do this in public, which might look strange, but I don’t really care, because it works!

Read more about how to flip negative thoughts: FLIP: FROM UNHAPPY TO HAPPY

Brain Exercise # 2: Train Your Brain to Flip the Switch on Worry

 

Similar to flipping negative thoughts about yourself, you need to do the same thing when it comes to worrying about things you cannot control, especially things that you have no real reason to believe will ever happen. It’s natural for us to worry. Some degree of worrying is good, because it makes us go through life in a careful and cautious manner. But when we get in cycle of worrying about things we cannot control, on auto-loop, it can make us more anxious and feel out of balance. 

detoxyourbrain

 

Flip those thoughts!

 

For example, once upon a time, our house burned down. We lost almost all of our physical possessions. Luckily no one was injured. But for years afterwards, I was constantly worried that we would be trapped in a fire or other disaster, especially, for some reason, in public spaces. My worrying over this intensified whenever I wasn’t with my children. I would obsessively worry that if I went out to eat without my kids, the restaurant could catch on fire. 

 

And trust me when I tell you that housefires were not nearly the only things I obsessively worried over. I was quite adept at finding danger lurking in every corner to the point where I rarely separated from my kids, even just to run to the store. At some point, I realized that I was letting my worrying thoughts control how I was living rather than me being in control of my own thoughts. So, every time I would catch myself in the cycle of worry, I would implement the same thought-flip from Brain Exercise #1. 

 

It seems so simple, but it is very effective. And, the more you implement this thought-flip, the easier it gets. My brain will still go to these dark thoughts when I’m not being vigilant, but I flip the thoughts out as soon as I recognize them. 


Brain Exercise #3: Practice Self Care

 

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I see it over and over again, and I’ve lived it. Women tend to give and give and give, until they are empty and exhausted. By the time we’ve hit our forties, we’ve spent decades giving our time, love, and energy to our children, spouses, family, friends, and careers, and we put ourselves last. This leads to feeling unfulfilled, lonely, exhausted and unbalanced. And for those of us who really never carved out a life for ourselves, it can feel as if you are living a life that isn’t your own. 

 

Well, my friends, this is clearly not a healthy way to live. So many women feel guilty whenever they take time for self care. Flip that thought, right now. You must, must, must practice self care. There is nothing selfish about it. It’s a mandatory exercise for a healthy mind, body, and spirit. And, when you practice self care, you fill yourself back up, so that that there is an overflow to pour out to other people, making you a better lover, mother, friend, co-worker, and human.

 

Self care can be as extravagant as a weekend getaway with your girlfriends, or as simple as getting up 20 minutes early to read a book in silence before your day kicks off. 

 

Read more ideas for self care:

FLIP A BAD DAY INTO A MANAGEABLE ONE WITH SELF-CARE ACTIVITIES

FLIP YOUR MORNINGS FROM FRANTIC TO FANTASTIC WITH A MORNING ROUTINE

FLIP YOUR UNTAPPED CREATIVITY INTO A FUN AND RELAXING SELF CARE ACTIVITY

5 SELF CARE FLIP FOR WOMEN WHO ARE TOO BUSY TO PRACTICE SELF CARE




 

5-Minute Meditation for People Who Don’t Meditate

Are you convinced that meditation’s not for you? Well, flip that thought and give yourself 5 minutes to try this easy mediation technique for people who don’t meditate…

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I hear ya, meditation sounds a bit woo woo. I know; I know. And, it can be. But it doesn’t have to be. In fact, in its most basic form, meditation is really just about clearing your mind, connecting to yourself, and being in a peaceful state while remaining in the moment. But mediation can be a powerful self-care tool for you, even if you’ve always thought that you would never, ever meditate. 

 

You don’t have to sit crossed legged. You don’t have to chant. You don’t have to burn incense. In fact, the point is that you don’t have to do much. Almost nothing, in fact.  And anyone with 5 minutes on their hands can give it a try (even if—make that especially if—you have to somehow find those 5 minutes.)

 

For most of us, our internal default settings are set to d-e-t-a-c-h. We are detached from ourselves, detached from the moment, and we are detached from our own feelings. Our stress levels are always sky-high. Our habits are out of wack. Our minds are cluttered. Our bodies are exhausted.

 

Sound familiar?

 

Yeah, you are not alone.

And, on top of all of that, we feel as if we don’t have the time, money, patience, fill-in-the-blank-with-your-go-to-excuse, to reconnect to ourselves and clear our minds. But the truth is you don’t need a yoga class to relax your body. You don’t need to take a cruise to the Bahamas to reconnect with yourself.  And ladies, hear me now…it is not selfish to practice self care, and you aren’t taking time away from anyone else if you take time for yourself. So, even if you barely have the time to brush all 32 of your teeth, you can still take 5 minutes and give yourself the gift of super-simple, totally not woo woo, mediation, even if you don’t meditate. Just try it, ok? And then later, you can thank me. 

Meditation for People Who Don't Meditate

How to Meditate for People Who Don’t Mediate (and Never Thought They Would)

1. Go to a room with a lock on it. The lock part is especially important if you have kids—even furry ones. Lock yourself in, and dim the lights. For some of us, finding a time when the house is quiet and no one will knock (or scratch) on the door, repeatedly, is tough. I suggest meditating first thing in the morning before your household wakes up, or last thing at night, if you outlast the rest of your people. For the next 5 minutes, your focus needs to be solely on the meditation.

2. Take a seat anywhere you are comfy, literally--on the floor, bed, chair or couch. Sit comfortably. You could get all traditional and cross your legs, or if you don’t want to, don’t. You could even lie flat. Your position doesn’t matter, so long as you are comfortable and in a position you can hold, without effort, for 5 minutes. For the next 5 minutes, your goal is to get lost in your meditation; movement would disrupt that tranquility. 

 

3. Set the scene for relaxation. How can you hygge-up your space really quickly, to get your mind, body, and spirit in a space for relaxation? Ask Alexa or Siri to play some spa music. Turn on your essential oil diffuser. Draw the shades. Whatever works for you, works for you.

 

Five Minute Meditation

4. Set the timer on your phone or ask your smart device to chime in 5 minutes. That way, you don't need to wonder when the 5 minutes are up. The important word here is “chime.” Do not set that default buzzing alarm sound, unless you want to be brought out of your relaxing meditation with a startle and jump your heart rate up a few notches, and thus, undoing and the good you just did.

 

5. Get your meditation on. Close your eyes and relax. Visualize the stress and tension floating out of your body from the top of your head and pouring out of your chest. Clear your mind of all thoughts by focusing, as intently as you are able, on your breathing, and letting shit go. Do this and nothing else until your timer chimes. If you find your brain wandering (and it will), do not judge yourself. Do not think you aren’t able to mediate. Just recognize the thought and let it drift away. Focus back on your breathing and on picturing your stress and tension floating and pouring out of you. 

 

6. Ta-da! That’s it.  When your timer goes off, congratulate yourself. 

 

Try this meditation technique every day for 5-7 days and see how it helps you feel more balanced and self-connected, because I promise it will. If you decide this is a flip that you’d like to incorporate into your life, try upping your 5 minutes to 7 minutes for a week, and then 10, and then 12-13, etc. Find the balance point that’s right for you, the amount of time you find most relaxing and beneficial. Then, incorporate this meditation flip into your daily, every other day, or weekly self-care schedule.

Want to learn more about how you can work easy, mindset flips into your life so that you can be more balanced, happier, and stress less? Join the 40yearflip’s 5-Day Mindset Challenge below. It’s fun and it’s free.

Why You Should Focus on Mindset if You Want to Be Happier

Why should you focus on your mindset if you want to flip your life?

Too often we are focused on our external circumstances when we think about being happier. We will be happier when we get the kitchen renovated, get that promotion at work, or finally lose the extra fifteen pounds from that last pregnancy nine years ago. But, the truth is, none of those things have the power to make people happy. Instead, we just need to flip our thinking—aka our mindset! Only by focusing on your mindset can you feel happier.

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Your mindset has profound effects on everything: self-esteem, health, relationships, and careers. Your mindset is even more powerful than your circumstances in setting the course of your life, and in terms of how happy and content you feel.  Unlike random circumstances, mindset is something you can learn to control and change. With some specific activities and intentions, you can radically flip your reactions to common experiences in your life.

 

But, as with any change, it’s tough. Every day we have to scroll though endless bad news in our social media feeds, or yet another natural disaster somewhere in the world. But what affects us even more is that nagging voice in our heads that are constantly whining, “I’m so tired,” “I’m fat,” “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

 

And when you feel crappy, you radiate crappy, and you attract crappy. I’m sure you’ve heard of the Law of Attraction, that law that says your negative mindset will just keep attracting more negativity in your life. Well, it’s true. And once you focus on your mindset, you’ll see just how powerful the Law of Attraction is. So, stop using it against you, and start using it as your tool to flip your life.

 

Sadly, we often miss seeing the wonderful things in our life.  You know the old saying, “Stop and smell the roses.” Well, do you? I mean seriously, do you? How often do you take a walk and truly appreciate nature? Watching the sunrise or the sunset is an awe-inspiring thing. It’s 100% free, and it happens Every. Single. Day. And yet, we miss it.


Why is it so damn hard to stay in that happy, positive place?

Journaling is a great way to focus on mindset

Journaling is a great way to focus on mindset

 

Because thought patterns are learned, and once they are ingrained in your mind, your mind tries to keep you in that space. The more you allow yourself to repeat negative thoughts, the more ingrained these thoughts become in your mind, and the harder it is to flip those thoughts and your mindset. If you want to flip your life, you must focus on your mindset so that you can be happier and more content. And they way to do that is to train your brain. If you want a fit body, you need to train. If you want a fit mind, you need to train, as well.

 

But how? Well, I’m glad you asked. I’ve created a super-simple, 5-Day 40yearflip Mindset Challenge to get you flipping that mindset from negative to positive. It’s easy and painless, and totally FREE. And, it’s designed to make it easy for you to start focusing on mindset and actively working to flip that mindset from negative to positive.


If you want to create great things in your life, then you have to start by expecting yourself to achieve great things. Ready?  Let’s do this! Click on the link below to join, and an email from me will zoom straight to your inbox.



 

Flip: A Bad Day into a Manageable One with Self-Care Activities

Reading for Self Care on a Bad Day

Reading for Self Care on a Bad Day

Bad days, we’ve all had them. We will all, inevitably, have more of them. But, my 40yearflip friends, it’s how we deal with these bad days that separates the old us from the new us. When you have a bad day, you might find yourself popping a bottle of Cabernet, and ordering a pizza to numb yourself out on alcohol and carbs. I’ve been totally guilty of that a hundred times (ok, maybe more like a thousand.)


But, over time, I’ve flipped the carb-stuff and booze-binge for a better option—self-care activities. Don’t get me wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a good glass of wine or a good slice of pizza every now and then. In fact, I indulge in both regularly. It’s only bad if you are using these things to numb-out. When you indulge in the things you like to eat and drink, it should be done for the simple pleasure of it.



Read a Good Book


My number-one, go-to, most-favorite way to banish the blahs of a bad day is to dive into a good book. Books are magical; they transport you out of your everyday life and plop you into someone else’s. When you immerse yourself in a story, the thoughts that give you stress, kind of lay low for a while.


In fact, if the negative thoughts that were bringing you down, were actually not as bad as you let yourself believe, there’s a good chance that by the time you stop reading, those negative thoughts will have faded away.


Netflix and Giggle


Comedy is a powerful tool for mood lifting, and I’m not joking. Don’t underestimate the power of laughing! If you are having a terrible day, tune in to a funny movie or TV show. Re-watching an old favorite comedy can make you and laugh and bring back good memories as well.


You know the old saying, “laughter is the best medicine?” That’s because laughter releases endorphins, your body’s happy chemicals, making you feel instantly happier. This, in turn, decreases stress and boosts immunity! So laugh yourself silly, happy, and healthy.



Get Out of the House


If you feel like the walls are coming in on you, or if you feel like you are beginning to cocoon yourself into your house, it’s time to get out and see some different scenery and some actual humans. If this is you, then getting out to socialize and meet up with friends might be your best bet.


Spending Time with Friends as Self Care

When you find yourself doing nothing but working and going home, you may simply need another outlet. Try meeting co-workers for drinks after work or calling up a friend to have a girls’ night out. I suggest downloading the meetup app, and finding a group-based activity to partake in. Get a little bit out of your comfort zone and it can be very good for you.

Spend More Time with Friends and Family

I know I tend to cocoon myself into my own little world when I’m not feeling 100% emotionally. I tend to cut myself off a bit. But that’s no bueno! Whenever you notice this happening to you, you’ve got to flip that behavior and reach out to the people who make you happy. This was a hard flip for me to make in my life, and even though it sounds simple, like all things, sometimes it’s not. 

Spending more time with your loved ones can be great for self care. Many people think being alone is the only way to take care of themselves and relieve stress, but sometimes the best thing for you is being around others. Think about your daily lifestyle and what tends to stress you out. You might find that you feel worse when you are constantly alone, but your mood seems to lift on happy hour night or when visiting your best friend. This is a good sign that what you really need is to get out and spend more time with others.

Get Social Online

We are more connected now, by more devices and apps than we have ever been. There is literally no reason to ever feel alone and disconnected. Get active on social media with like-minded people. Hit me and other 40yearflip friends up on Facebook or Instagram.

Find other Facebook pages and Instagrams to interact with based on your interests. There are pages for everything from specific TV show fandoms to reading clubs to gardening, you name it, there’s a Facebook page for it. And don’t be afraid to jump in and post and participate. Social media is SOCIAL, that’s the damn point. And these pages thrive on activity and couldn’t exist without interaction.

Ok, ladies, tuck these self-care activity ideas into the folds of your brain and pull them out next time you are feeling down in the doldrums. Comment below on what self-care activities work for you, and/or, just for fun, what you like on your pizza when you AREN’T eating it to numb-out.


Flip Your Mornings from Frantic to Fantastic with a Morning Routine

Give Yourself the Time and Space to Implement a Morning Routine

Give Yourself the Time and Space to Implement a Morning Routine

Having a good, solid, morning routine that nurtures from the very start of your day, is one of the best ways to practice self care, and to get your day of to a calm, good-vibe start. There’s only one thing that’s hard about starting a morning routine, and that’s actually starting a morning routine. As they say, the first step’s a doozy.

I know that most of us, first thing in the morning, want nothing more than to just keep sleeping. However, I promise you, if you make this small flip, from snoozing-button-pushing, to giving yourself the gift of extra you-time in the morning, you will come to love your morning routine.

Like most things, morning routines are personal. What works for one person, won’t work for another person. So, my 40yearflip friends, I’ll just toss a few ideas at you and, you decide which of these would work best for you.

Get Cozy with Your Favorite Morning Beverage

Whether you drink coffee or tea in the morning, you can make this part of your self care ritual. Don’t do as I used to and pour your caffeine fix into your to-go cup and chug it down in the car on the way to work. That’s not enjoying your morning beverage; that’s gulping it down just for the caffeine jolt.

Morning Routine as Self Care

Everything you eat and drink should be consumed for the health of your body, or to enjoy the taste, the temperature, the texture, and the experience food and drink can give you. Savor your bites and your sips, always. 


Try to have your first cup of coffee in the morning all alone and in silence. Make it just the way you like it. Serve it to yourself in your favorite mug and savor it. Really, savor your drink. Take a minute to appreciate the smell and taste.


You can read the paper, write in your journal, or sit on your patio and listen to the birds chirping as the sun comes up while you enjoy your beverage. This is another great reason to wake up a little earlier than everyone else in your household. You will be amazed at how much better you feel with just a few minutes to yourself.

Spend a Some Time with a Book


If you can set your alarm for an earlier time, it gives you the chance to catch up on your reading. Find a book that is inspirational and helps motivate you for the day. In the morning, I tend to reach for self-development books or other nonfiction. I like to be inspired in the mornings. I save fiction for the evenings.


Read just a few pages or a whole chapter, depending on how much free time you have. This can be while you are having your morning coffee, or if you are listening to an audiobook, during your morning walk. This gives you some time in the morning to not worry about what’s ahead, or get stuck in planning mode. 


Avoid the Internet 


You want isn’t self care? Doing what almost everyone does when they have a few minutes in the morning, getting online. Stressing yourself out over work email is the opposite of self care. Reading they typos in Donald Trump’s tweets is the opposite of self care. The same goes for checking your calendar, reading the news, and scrolling Facebook. Flip this behavior right on out of your life.


There’s plenty of time, later in the day to do all those things. When you are trying to start a new morning routine for self care purposes, you should unplug all devices. Don’t spoil your morning by letting your cell phone feed you stress. I put my cell phone on Do Not Disturb mode before I go to bed, and I don’t take it off until I’ve officially started my work day. 


Meditate for Ten Minutes


The morning is also the ideal time to meditate and repeat mantras. Mantras are sayings or words that help to center your focus and make it easier to meditate. You can also try breathing exercises or traditional meditation. If you want to take a walk in the morning, that can also help you to meditate.


What does your morning routine look like? Be honest! It’s ok if it’s less than zen right now. We are all here to learn and flip those habits. Tell us below so we can be inspired (or, if your morning routine is in progress, so we can commiserate!) Got a great pic of what your mornings look like? Tag us on IG with #40yearflip

Flip: Your Untapped Creativity into a Fun and Relaxing Self Care Activity

Writing as a Self-Care Activity

Despite what you’ve seen in Hallmark Channel movies, not all self-care activities involve going for a walk or meditating. Instead, you can tap into the creativity that’s inside of you, just waiting to get out! And, please, don’t tell me you aren’t creative. You are. Everyone is to one degree or another; you probably just haven’t let your creative muses out of their cage since childhood.


Well, it’s time to unlock that cage, and get creative! The benefits of participating in a creative activity for self care are abundant. You will feel relaxed, accomplished, and you’ll tap into a well of creativity that you didn’t know you had. So, let’s channel our inner artists, writers, and creators, and reap the self care benefits. Here are some creative and artistic activities to help you practice self care:


Get Writing


My go-to activity for creative self care is writing. Writing for self care can take many forms. If you have a story, burning inside of you, by all means, let those creative juices flow from your brain and out of your fingertips. If you enjoy playing around with words sounds, and meanings, try poetry.


Remember, no one ever needs to see the writing you do for yourself, so don’t be afraid to experiment. And most importantly, don’t be afraid of writing something that you think others will see as “bad poetry,” or “bad writing.” Your writing is no one else’s business but yours!


If you feel as if there’s an emotion in your chest or gut that you haven’t let flow out of you, or that you can’t really identify, freewriting is a great way to unleash that emotion. To freewrite, all you need to do is pick up a pen, get a sheet of blank paper, and write as quickly as you can--letting the words flow through you and on to the paper. It is important to write quickly so you don’t censor yourself. The idea here is to achieve a flow and get yourself into a trance-like writing state, so your inner feelings, thoughts, and emotions can come out. By freewriting, you can feel the feelings associated with that emotion, identify the root cause, and then address it. 


I find that when one freewrites like this, a lot of suppressed emotions can be released. Once these emotions are out of your body and on paper, you can then go one step further to releasing these feelings for good by burning the paper or tearing it up. If you aren’t ready to let them go, you could always keep the writing, of course, even if you don’t plan to ever read it again. 



Get Arty


Self care is about engaging in activities that makes you feel good about yourself and give you a break from whatever is causing you stress. By participating in creative and artistic self-care activities, you spend more time focusing on yourself and letting your inner creative bloom.

Artistic and Creative Self Care Ideas

Artistic and Creative Self Care Ideas

Getting artistic is another super-easy way to be creative, while practicing self care. You should have some hobbies and activities you truly enjoy, just for yourself—activities that involve more than just watching Netflix and zoning out. 

So, grab a sketchbook and some art tools to draw, sketch, or paint as you wish. Don’t think you are capable of creating art? Well, you are wrong; everyone has at least a little artistic ability. Get on YouTube, and search for tutorials on sketching, watercolor painting, or even flow painting. Immerse yourself in a new way to be artistic and to create. Personally, I couldn’t draw a recognizable stick figure if my life depended on it, but it doesn’t mean I won’t try! 

Get Coloring

Why is your Instagram account full of pictures of adults coloring? Because it’s a fun, addictive, therapeutic, and oh-so-pretty way to practice self care! I have seen adult coloring books focused on a wide variety of topics from The Golden Girls (which absolutely cracked me up, so of course I bought it!) to intricate, lacy mandalas.

Find one that fits your personality and is designed with the intricacy level you’re looking for. The more intricate the coloring book, the more patience, steadiness, and concentration it will take to complete a page. For some, a very detailed coloring book lets them zone out and get in the flow. For others, it will just seem like an unnecessary chore. We’re all different! So, flip to it, get one that appeals to you, and start coloring. This fun and easy self-care activity allows you to be creative and de-stress by simply coloring and not having to worry about anything. And bonus, it’s a great way to express your artistic side, even if you lack in artistic talent (slowly raises hand.)

Get Crafty

What better way to express your creative side than to learn something brand new? This is the perfect opportunity to get out there and try a new craft or form of art. You don’t have to be naturally artistic to be creative and enjoy any type of creative activity. Doing the activity isn’t the only way to taking better care of yourself, but also in learning how to do it. Think of some hobbies you always wondered about, like oil painting, making jewelry or metal stamping, or giving sewing or knitting a try. Go to Etsy.com and get inspired by all the great crafts, and then look up a tutorial for that craft. Or, visit some of these great crafty sites:

A Beautiful Mess  

Blueprint   

Crafting in a Green World    

30 Minute Crafts   

Get creative, ladies.

What’s your favorite way to get creative? Tell us all about it in the comments so you can inspire us. Or, get social with me on Instagram, and tag your self care pics with #40yearflip

This post may be sponsored or contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. See my full disclosure here.

How to Be Happier Every Day and In Five Seconds Flat

Flip: From Unhappy to Happy

4 Easy Flips Can Make Your Happier in No Time

4 Easy Flips Can Make Your Happier in No Time

It is so easy to get stuck in the cycle of thinking that one day your life will be better, but just not right now. Or, even worse, that you are doomed to live an unfulfilling life, day in and day out, until one day, you die.

Ugh, that was depressing just to read. I can’t imagine living that way. Well, yes I can, because I did. I lived with that exact mindset for most of my entire adult life. I get it. But what so few realize is that it is so much easier to make the small flips in life that make us happier than to remain stuck and unhappy. 

And, if you are still stuck feeling this way, you, my friend, are not alone. As little experiment, I kept my curious little ears open all last week to hear how people talk about themselves and their lives. (Eavesdropping is one of my super powers, in case you were wondering.) 

Here are a few things I heard:

  • When I win the lottery, I’m going to retire, and move some place better than this. This place is depressing. (I wanted to say, “Yo, you live in Miami. People dream of retiring here. And you are…already here!) 

  • I’m not buying any clothes until I lose five pounds. (Ok, you know who you are, so I’m just going to say right here what I said to your face…Ummm, didn’t you say that like six months ago? And six months before that? And, I think you see where I’m going with this, right? Good! So buy the damn pants and enjoy the heck out of them!)

  • My life is so boring! (I didn’t know this person, but we were sitting at the same happy hour spot, and it was such a great happy hour spot. Who are these people being bored at a happy hour with free tacos? Yes, free tacos.)

Be Happier

Be Happier

If you are brave enough to admit to yourself that you can relate to these Debbie Downers (don’t worry, no one has to know), here are 4 quick and easy flips to get happier in seconds: 

1. Focus on the Good Over the Bad

No matter how spectacularly blah-tastic your life seems right now, there are some shiny little objects you can hold on to. Do you have a warm place to sleep at night? Is your favorite TV show on the DVR, just waiting for you and a tub of ice cream? Did you just send out a meme to everyone you know and now the lols are rolling in? Is there a taco with your name on it out there in the universe (bonus points if it’s free!)?

Can you, your heart, and your brain land on at least 5 good things? Are there 5 things in your life that give you at least a glimmer of joy, hope, or just make you say, “Umm, yes, please!” Good. You are so lucky. You have so much to be happy about.

2. Look back with gratitude instead of regret

Every single thing that has happened to you in your life, every fall, every misstep, every lost lover, every forgotten opportunity, and even every mistake you’ve ever made has made you the you you are right now (there’s a heck-ton of “you”s in that sentence, but hey, this is self-help, and self-help is the one time where it really is ALL ABOUT YOU!) 

Even if you don’t think you are living your best life, or that you aren’t the ideal person you want to be, you know yourself better than anyone else in the world, and you know that you have a plethora of redeeming qualities. And, you’ve earned them. Yes, it would’ve been great if you got the promotion over Sally-know-it-all-down-the-hall, but you learned from that experience. It made you smarter. It made you a bit tougher. Maybe, hopefully, it made you evaluate what you want and what you can do to get it. 

Look back on all your past with gratitude—even the dark and ugly times. The bad times are the ones that give you grit. They are the experiences that build wisdom. You deserve a lot of respect for living through them and surviving, and no one owes you more respect for that than you do. Go you.

3. Flip Your Mindset from Negative to Positive

It sounds so simple because it is. It sounds too simple, in fact—too good to be true. But the truth is, it’s that simple, and it’s that hard. 

It’s simple because deciding to be positive really and truly makes you a happier person. When you decide to look for the positives in any situation, to appreciate the growth and knowledge gained from a less-than-stellar experience, it immediately makes you happier. This is what I call a flip. A flip is a small, quick mindset change that can improve your life.

Flip from dwelling on negativity, and looking for all the chances to be negative, and instead, look for those shiny objects you can grab and hold on to. It’s that simple. But it takes practice—that’s the hard part. 

Start practicing this flip with small things, and soon it will become part of your mindset tool collection. For example, let’s say that after work one day, you go to the grocery, intent on making your Grandma’s famous spinach lasagna. So far, so good. But, once you get there, you discover that they are out of her super-secret ingredient. As soon as your start hearing your brain say things like, “Of course, they don’t have what I need. Isn’t that typical. First I had a crap day at work, and all I wanted was some damn spinach lasagna, and now I can’t even have that. The world is against me. I have the worst luck.”

Flip that switch, girl, pronto. As soon as that voice starts babbling on, cut it off, and tell yourself that you just weren’t meant to make dinner today. And now you have time to finish reading the book you haven’t had time to read, and finally order from that cute new Italian place on the corner. Alone time + book + hot food delivered to your door = perfection. Damn, you’ve got it good.

4. Remember You are in Good Company

I know you think that you are the only one who feels this way. You’re completely convinced that your next door neighbor, your friends on Facebook, and that promotion stealer, Sally-know–it-all-down-the-hall all have their sh*t together, and only you feel this way. But I promise you, that this is not true.

Evidence number 1—remember my little week of eavesdropping on Debbie Downers?

Evidence number 2—Let me tell you, I spend a good chunk of my everyday life, hanging out with other life coaches, and even they have their moments. We all do. And thinking that you are the only one who suffers with this, is just another belief that holds you back from being happier every day. 

So, those are 4 easy mindset flips that you can start practicing right now to make yourself happier in no time. The hardest part is just remembering to implement them, and believing that you have the power to use these flips, and make them work for you. Say them aloud. Write them down. Set a reminder in your phone. Commit to them in comments, right here, right now. Do whatever it takes to remember, implement, and benefit. I believe in you. Don’t flip out. Flip your life. 

5 Fast Self Care Flips for Women Who Think They’re Too Busy

Flip: From Frazzled to Nurtured in No Time

Self Care: Spending Time with Pets is Good for your Soul and for your Pets’ Too

Self Care: Spending Time with Pets is Good for your Soul and for your Pets’ Too

Technically, we all know how important self care is for women, especially women over 40, who are constantly juggling more than they can handle. But, for busy women, self-care can feel like a luxury that we never have time for.

We’ve been fooled into thinking about spending time, energy, and money on self care as indulgent or selfish. I am here to tell you, right here, right now, flip those self-limiting thoughts and start telling yourself that self care is a vital habit to work into your daily schedule.

A major factor holding women back from practicing self care is they think they need to do something extravagant in order for it to count, or to work, or whatever. Repeat after me, this is not true. Self care doesn’t have to consist of extravagant, long weekends spent at the beach, a trip to the spa, or even taking those crazy expensive Soul Cycle classes. But, hey, if you can swing those things, have at it!

The truth is, self care can be anything (small or big) you do to give you and your body and or mind attention. I want you to take 10 minutes a day, every day this week, to spend on yourself. In fact, I insist.

Here are 5 self-care flips that will take only 10 minutes out of your crazy schedule, but will still benefit your mind and body. Flip to it, girl.

1. S-T-R-E-T-C-H it Out

Do you know that we tend to carry stress in our spines? This is especially true for those of us who spend long hours hunched over the computer, working on our feet, or picking up after the kids. Like many things in our busy lives, our posture and body take the backseat.

I know that when you get home, after you’ve made dinner, and ran all your errands, all you want to do is flop on the couch and flip through Instagram, or curl up with a good book. But, flip that habit. Just before you get ready for chill-out time, take just ten minutes to curl your spine down, and touch your toes. 

Self Care for Women Over 40: Stretching

If you can touch your toes, great, set a goal to be able to touch your palms to the ground by the end of next month. If you can’t touch your toes (don’t worry, no one needs to know!) no worries, most women over 40 haven’t been able to touch their toes in a long, long time. But you’ve got this! I believe in you.

Set a goal to be able to touch your toes in 3 months. Remember, any amount of stretching will do your aching joints and body some long-lasting good. Put that goal in your journal or on your reminders app in your phone.

While you’re at it, stretch the rest of your body as well. Perhaps you can look up a yoga posture, or you have a stretching routine in mind already. Whether it is advanced or basic, any kind of stretching will keep your body functioning well despite periods of inactivity. Touch your toes, extend your arms and gear yourself up physically and mentally for whatever task is at hand.

2. Massage and Moisturize

I know you are crazy busy. I am, too. And I know that I tend to want to jump out of the shower in the morning, dry myself off as quickly as I can, and rush to get dressed. But, I’ve trained myself to spend an extra 10 minutes, indulging in my favorite potions and lotions. It’s great for relaxing before a sure-to-be hectic day, and it will keep you looking younger, longer. Total win-win. 

First, do your facial skin-care routine. I used to just moisturize and go—I never invested in lots of serums, toners, and masks. But, that has all changed now, my friends. I am a subscription box junkie, and now my beauty kit is overflowing with fabulous concoctions. And, I don’t even notice the small amount of money I spend on them—the value far outweighs the costs! And let me tell you, I see a huge difference in the my skin. Huge! 

Next, it’s time to pamper the rest of your body. If you don’t have any special body lotions around, use a natural lotion such as organic coconut oil or avocado oil, and rub it mindfully into your arms and shoulders, and legs. Spread the cream or oil gently and thoroughly and use your hands to massage over your body across areas that you might not realize are aching. You might come across some sudden sore spots, it’s important to focus on those for a moment, rubbing in the lotion. You will be relaxed and energized and your skin will benefit greatly from the extra moisturizing.

3. Drink 2 Additional Glasses of Water Per Day

Water is that little magic potion we all too often ignore: it relieves fatigue, clears skin, detoxes your body, improves digestion, and prevents cramps. And yet we often forget to hydrate, or hydrate so little we get headaches as a result. Not only will drinking two glasses of water help you hydrate, it will also give you much-needed time to get away from your technological devices and focus on your surroundings.

Self Care Drink More Water

Drink the water slowly and savor the break from you work before you dive back into it. Take it in slow sips, and be sure to follow this tip regularly to met your daily requirement of H2O. 

Not a big water fan? I used to hate water. I know that sounds weird, but I did. But for people who don’t like water, you are just not used to drinking it. You have to condition yourself by drinking water several times a day, every day.

And, I was terrible at remembering to drink it. I invested in a 25 ounce Swell bottle, that I now remember to take with me every day. I got the big one, and I fill it up every morning, and I don’t allow myself to go to bed until I’ve consumed every last drop. It helps to add in a little squeeze of fresh lemon or lime to add a touch of flavor. Sometimes, I add in fresh mint leaves, too. It’s so refreshing. 

4. Play with your pet or go for a walk

Whether it’s a furry friend or a tank full of fish, scientists have proven the health benefits of animals at every turn. A pet of your own means a faithful companion. And, spending time with a pet is a proven way to lower blood pressure and increase oxytocin levels.

The enjoyment from pets can be calming and repetitive motion of petting your companion (or even staring at a fish tank!) will help soothe you. Don’t have a pet? Go for a walk to your local dog park; just taking in the sights of other dogs and animals has the same impact on your wellbeing. 

5. Phone a Friend, you Chatty Cathy, You


At a time where connectivity options are abundant, it’s funny how disconnected we actually are. The troubles of everyday life can be exhausting and drain us of all the time and will to socialize beyond what is absolutely necessary. During our free time there are personal things we need to tend to that make socializing take a back seat. But to truly care for ourselves, we need to nurture social and emotional aspects as well.

While it’s easy to pick up your phone and send a text, take ten minutes out of your day to chat with a friend or family member. You benefit just as much as they do. Simply talk about your day and maintain the feeling of being connected. Your support system can help relieve stress and help you to maintain a healthy mindset through your shared bond.

Self care isn’t just about facials, eating your greens and getting your hair done. It’s also about the soul food that fuels you and the small things that make big impacts on your overall wellbeing. By practicing these 5 tips, you get to spend a handful of minutes away from whatever it is you do each day and you get to separate yourself from the chaos and stress of your daily life.

Do you practice some sort of self care? Share with us below, and give us some fresh ideas. Or, head on over to Instagram and tag your self care pics or stories with #40yearflip.

This post may be sponsored or contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. See my full disclosure here.





Why You Should Focus on Mindset if You Want to Be Happier

Why should you focus on your mindset if you want to flip your life?

Too often we are focused on our external circumstances when we think about being happier. We will be happier when we get the kitchen renovated, get that promotion at work, or finally lose the extra fifteen pounds from that last pregnancy nine years ago. But, the truth is, none of those things have the power to make people happy. Instead, we just need to flip our thinking—aka our mindset! Only by focusing on your mindset can you feel happier.

focusonmindset.jpg

 

Your mindset has profound effects on everything: self-esteem, health, relationships, and careers. Your mindset is even more powerful than your circumstances in setting the course of your life, and in terms of how happy and content you feel.  Unlike random circumstances, mindset is something you can learn to control and change. With some specific activities and intentions, you can radically flip your reactions to common experiences in your life.

 

But, as with any change, it’s tough. Every day we have to scroll though endless bad news in our social media feeds, or yet another natural disaster somewhere in the world. But what affects us even more is that nagging voice in our heads that are constantly whining, “I’m so tired,” “I’m fat,” “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

 

And when you feel crappy, you radiate crappy, and you attract crappy. I’m sure you’ve heard of the Law of Attraction, that law that says your negative mindset will just keep attracting more negativity in your life. Well, it’s true. And once you focus on your mindset, you’ll see just how powerful the Law of Attraction is. So, stop using it against you, and start using it as your tool to flip your life.

 

Sadly, we often miss seeing the wonderful things in our life.  You know the old saying, “Stop and smell the roses.” Well, do you? I mean seriously, do you? How often do you take a walk and truly appreciate nature? Watching the sunrise or the sunset is an awe-inspiring thing. It’s 100% free, and it happens Every. Single. Day. And yet, we miss it.

Why is it so damn hard to stay in that happy, positive place?

Journaling is a great way to focus on mindset

Journaling is a great way to focus on mindset

 

Because thought patterns are learned, and once they are ingrained in your mind, your mind tries to keep you in that space. The more you allow yourself to repeat negative thoughts, the more ingrained these thoughts become in your mind, and the harder it is to flip those thoughts and your mindset. If you want to flip your life, you must focus on your mindset so that you can be happier and more content. And they way to do that is to train your brain. If you want a fit body, you need to train. If you want a fit mind, you need to train, as well.

 

But how? Well, I’m glad you asked. I’ve created a super-simple, 5-Day 40yearflip Mindset Challenge to get you flipping that mindset from negative to positive. It’s easy and painless, and totally FREE. And, it’s designed to make it easy for you to start focusing on mindset and actively working to flip that mindset from negative to positive.


If you want to create great things in your life, then you have to start by expecting yourself to achieve great things. Ready?  Let’s do this! Click on the link below to join, and an email from me will zoom straight to your inbox.